even my farts smell like vagina
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
