this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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