im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
