Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
