can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize