I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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