Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize