69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize