JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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