Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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