i would punch a child for taco bell
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
