OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
