so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
