we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
