i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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