grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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