After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
