Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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