I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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