oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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