I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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