Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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