why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
