so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
this hospital has no fireball
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
