in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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