Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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