last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
