dude i'm inner monologue high
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
