is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just gift wrapped bread.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You are the jesus of drinking
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
