No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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