and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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