Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
