I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
two words: eviction party
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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