Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
