You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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