My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize