It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
