Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
