is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
