So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
