I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
