Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
