I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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