Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
