we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
