I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My feet surprised me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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