Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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