it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
