We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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