yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
