Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize