I wish my penis had an off switch
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
