I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize