we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
