Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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