ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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