Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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