I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
