So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Please, let me fuck your mom
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
